Image copyright of Gail Rau and used with permission
One of the ladies at the retreat made a comment about my "blog being mostly lollipops and sunshine." I admit it mostly is. I try to focus on what is going right in my world. What I can feel good about. Where I feel like I'm making some progress and the things that can help keep me going when I'm feeling down or when life is more challenging.
Some people have taken my Pollyanna approach to recording the happenings in my family to mean that everything is easy and that my life is trial free. Believe me there are days that I wish it were so. Sometime ago a friend sent me the following quote from the movie Rocky Balboa. Rocky tells this to his son:
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
I loved the quote. The sender knows who she is and she has my gratitude. The truth is that my world isn't all sunshine and rainbows or lollipops either. My reality is that I have two boys with rare medical conditions that keep us guessing and worrying, I also have two boys on the Autism spectrum; one of whom has days where he doesn't stop screaming no matter what we do, we are also in the midst of a very nasty criminal matter and have been ostracized and viciously attacked by those who should be there to support us.
I do write to a few friends as well as for myself personally documenting and processing the difficult things that are going on. But truthfully I don't want all of that "out there" on the World Wide Web. Maybe that makes me hypocritical because I love reading and being able to support my friends who are able to put more of their struggles and trials out there. Sadly, I have friends who have had their blogs used against them and who have stopped blogging. Unfortunately, I have recently had my lollipops and sunshine posts attempted to be used to discredit the effect the choices of others have had upon our family. Which is much of the reasoning behind the URL change and private blog status.
I like blogging. I like having a record of our family life and being able to share it with my friends who are flung around the globe. I love being able to keep in touch and know what is up with your families. You guys and gals are wonderful. I love the way that you support me and allow me to offer that support back to you all.
So what I'm really saying is that likely the lollipops and sunshine will continue because that is what keeps me going and moving forward and hopefully in the long run I too will be able to say:
"We looked for the good in them, and we found it, didn't we?"
as Reverend Ford said to Pollyanna at the end of the movie.
