Flattery will get you. . . . .

This morning we started off by having all the boys come in and snuggle in our bed, had some great conversations with them, some tickle fights and lots of giggles.  I love Saturdays when we don't have to rush off to be anywhere!

After awhile the Engineer says, "Mommy you are a really good chef so can you cook something up for us?"

Which if you read about our ongoing adventure  of food criticism is fairly ironic.

So I said "Sure!" and we all headed downstairs.  Then the wicked CHEF mommy goes into psycho mode and makes. . . . .

Peanut Butter and Jelly stuffed French Toast

When the food is on the table and the boys are called the Engineer's first comment is, "This is different!  Did you have a recipe?"

The Mommy says, "Indeed I did!  When I was working in the schools a teacher taught me how to make this!"

I get a skeptical look and can tell that he is considering  whether that is valid or not but having a teacher in the mix must have clinched the deal.  Because all he says next is, "Are you suuuuuuuuure?!?"

At which point in time the Mommy sweetly says, "Don't knock it until you try it"

So the Engineer braved a bite and his face lit up in a grin!

I wish the story could end there...but if you know the Engineer you also know there is no way that was the last of it.

So he continued eating eagerly until all but 4 bites remained and then he says, "Mommy when I first tasted it was one of the yummiest things ever....but now it is disgusting"

Then he proceeded to give me a list of modifications that he would like me to incorporate next time.

First--no jelly

Second--no peanut butter

Third -- don't stack the bread

Fourth --buy more boysenberry syrup

Fifth--don't use maple syrup

And with all of that do you know what it brings you back to?

Plain ole' french toast no frills!

What a fun morning!  Today his criticism didn't bother me at all maybe because I went into the whole adventure expecting it and maybe even egging it on a bit.  I love my boys!

Two Sides of the Soup Story

I am a fairly good cook. Not trying to brag but it is something I enjoy and I think (and have been told that) I do it well. I take pride in making delicious meals for a low cost for my family to enjoy. I strive to make food so delicious at home that we have no desire (other than that terrible feeling at 5:00 when I forgot to plan and am exhausted and want something easy....but we all have days like that) to eat fast food, or to go out to eat unless it is an intentional choice.

However I have come to realize that I have to be careful to not allow my boys' comments at Dinner time to sway my opinion of myself or my cooking abilities. Sometimes at the end of a long day the mommy feels unappreciated and defeated when dinner is met with criticism and/or groans. It is a rare night that my Engineer does not have something disparaging and (unintentionally) unkind. He just doesn't really see things in shades of gray and is not intending to be unkind he is just stating what to him in his world is the obvious. It is either what he is always used to (and even then I seldom meet his standards) or it is weird and therefore undesirable.

Most days (I hope) I am fairly good at redirecting him and helping him to see how he can say what he needs to say in a kind way or simply not saying it at all (I am also learning why Thumper's mother was less than successful at passing on her sage advice to her offspring). And I admit that often I just nod and try to block out his judging of the meal.

Today is a day that I was not at my best. It was a busy day and I had not planned dinner we had a deadline as my husband and I wanted to attend the Adult Meeting of Stake Conference and had to have the children fed before dropping them off. So I reached back into my days as a Cadette in Girl Scouts and made dump a can soup. I remember some camp counselor telling me that if you think about the flavors of the food you can almost always make a decent soup out of canned vegetables. So I did. And if I do say so myself it was quite tasty, filled our tummies and did not take long to cook. I however was not up to listening to the Engineer enumerate one by one the things wrong with the soup that he had yet to taste. He started off with his criticism that I "did not follow a recipe so obviously it was not going be edible." He added a few other faults but I really was not listening as I was letting his father know that he needed to intervene because I was not up to hearing about everything that I had done wrong in making dinner.

So as I was taking a time-out and breathing deep breaths the Comedian came up to me and he said with sincerity (almost made me cry) "Mom, when I'm a grown-up I'm going to make that same soup for my children at dinner time because it is so yummy. Maybe we can have it again tomorrow at lunch time!"

At which point I threw my arms around him, gave him a squeeze and told him how wonderful it was to hear that he had enjoyed the meal and was thinking of cooking for his own children one day. (Then I have to admit that I asked him to tell me again, because it made me feel good to hear of his enjoyment....which (he is the Comedian after all) he cheerfully did with a goofy grin and a very loud voice)

My complaining Engineer was feeling left out of the joy party (plus I think his papa had a talk with him about not being mean and trying to say nice things when someone has done something nice for you) so he came and said (with his sweet face that means he's trying to convey love even when he isn't really sure he feels it--if you know him I'm sure you've seen it) "Mom, when I grow up I'm going to make the same soup for my children except I won't put the spices in because they kind of hit my taste tester and it was REJECTED! It is so yummy except for the spices."

So for my Comedian and future grandchildren here is the recipe for tonight's dump-it soup.

In a large stock-pot add some olive oil and a chopped onion and saute. When onion begins to wilt add in

1 can cream of corn
1 can of whole corn
1 can green beans
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 cans of sliced potatoes
2 pkgs Ramen Noodles broken up
1 tsp basil
1 TBSP minced garlic
2 cups water (or chicken broth)

bring to a boil and serve

If your leanings are more like that of the Engineer's omit the basil......

Enjoy!

May the Force of the Season be with you!

Something fun that Santa Claus does when he comes to our house is every couple of years he brings some new costumes for the boys to add to their dress-up trunk. I think that he enjoys those after Halloween sales just like I do. *grin* This is the only time that we get new costumes in our house (as you may recall from Halloween when the boys had to make do with what we had). This year the costume theme was super heroes.

Pictured below you see the Engineer dressed as a clone trooper (with some other mask on), the Comedian is all set to fight evil as the Red Power Ranger, and the Tyrant is thrilled with his very own Optimus Prime (transformer) suit.


I was thinking that this would be a cute card. Here is the Engineer in the full Clone Trooper costume. He actually wore it day and night for the next week of Winter Break. And although the costumes were given to them all he is pretty certain that the clone trooper costume is his and his alone.

So while these are a bit late I hope that you and your family enjoyed the force spirit of the season!

Why I Do Not Support UNICEF

I asked Corey if she would allow me to share with you the reasons that she (and I) do not support UNICEF.

by Guest blogger Corey Waters

1) For those of you unfamiliar with UNICEF’s work, they are passionately anti-child trafficking. WHICH IS GOOD. The problem comes in when a large organization equates adoption with child trafficking, as UNICEF has done, and actively works to interfere with adoptions. Now, I am not saying that there are not situations where international adoptions need to be reformed and sometimes shut down while those reforms take down. Child slavery? Horrible. Child sex trade? Horrendous. Baby buying? Reprehensible. Does adoption need oversight and protection? ABSOLUTELY. Do I wish that adoption did not have to exist? YES, I do. I wish that children were never orphaned, never abandoned, never relinquished. BUT THEY ARE. And I don’t think that institutions (orphanages) are good places for children to grow up… especially orphanages in Haiti, where I know for a fact my children were neglected, beaten, emotionally abused, and sexually assaulted.

2) In the aftermath of Haiti’s earthquake, UNICEF has used their political clout and financial power to push their own agenda in Haiti, and the Haitian government has bent and swayed under that pressure. Children whose cases were in the process of adoption, who had already been shown eligible for adoption prior to the earthquake, who had adoptive parents with approved homestudies and extensive background checks were granted humanitarian parole and allowed to come and live with their families. (And let me clear up a fallacy that I keep seeing in the media: these adoptions are not “expedited”.. these adoptions are NOT COMPLETE! The children have been allowed to come LIVE with their adoptive families, but the adoptions are not finalized, the children do not have citizenship yet. Humanitarian parole is an immigration status only.. it has nothing to do with adoption. How do I know so much about HP? We tried to get it for Tina when the Haitian government was overthrown in the middle of her adoption… denied!) Anyway. During the short period of time that these children were being allowed out of Haiti on Humanitarian Parole, representatives from UNICEF were on the ground in Haiti, actually PUTTING THEIR HANDS ON PEOPLE, telling them they did not have the right to take these children out of Haiti. (I personally know a woman that this happened to.) UNICEF had NO JURISDICTION and NO RIGHT to do this. These children had the approval of the Haitian government AND the US government, they had been in the process of adoption FOR YEARS, and they had VALID TRAVEL VISAS. Not to mention, you just cannot go around PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON PEOPLE.

3) UNICEF continued to push their anti-adoption agenda on the Haitian government, until the government insisted they needed to approve each child on a case-by-case basis. Now, I am 110% in favor of ensuring that each child coming out of Haiti actually be eligible for adoption. But this is not what this is about. These families, who have now been sleeping on the floor of the US Embassy in Haiti with their children for days, have paperwork proving that they have adoptions in process. But UNICEF feels that Haitian children should stay in Haiti. That it is better for a child to stay in the country that they were born in, even if it means they are raised in an orphanage. And the Haitian government is being cowed by the pressure. These are real children we are talking about. My friend’s child is caught in this battle over her child.. except unlike the story in 1 Kings 3 where Solomon has to decide which of the two mothers is the real mother of this child, in this case, Debra and Ernst are fighting, fighting, fighting for the son they love.. and on the other side, UNICEF is fighting to keep him in Haiti where he has nothing and no one. (And I do not mean that as a detriment to Lori and Licia who have kept him at the Rescue Center and loved him and brought him to health, but they are not his parents, and they cannot take on every child that comes into the center.)

4) Yesterday, Heartline staff were instructed in writing to report to the USS Comfort to pick up patients they had brought there for treatment. When they did so, UNICEF staff were there, taking those patients to some camp, and would not disclose details. Staff at the Comfort ship had no idea this was going down. I imagine that the patients had no choice but to “consent” to this plan, and were terrified. You have to remember that it was not that long ago that Papa Doc and his TonTon Macoutes ran Haiti, and this cannot be far from any Haitian’s mind. How an international organization feels that it has the right to step in and take people where they do not want to go is beyond me... I am shocked, frightened, and outraged for these patients, who trust Tara and Troy, John and Beth, and who are now pawns in a political game. Now why would UNICEF be interfering with Heartline’s work? Does it have anything to do with Heartline’s orphanage? Are they taking ALL patients from the Comfort, or just Heartline’s? I don’t know. But I find it very, very odd.

5) What can we do? Well. Never give a dime to UNICEF, for starters. But in this situation, RIGHT NOW, I am going to petition the following people (I’m using email, but use whatever medium you like), and I ask you to do the same. And to spread the word, by blog, facebook, email, or twitter. (I will tell you, I have largely kept out of this up until this point, because I do not want to draw the attention of anti-adoption advocates; I just do not like to draw their ire and listen to their ranting on my blog. ) But Ronel deserves a voice. Ronel wants to come home. Will you help him?

Feel free to copy and paste my letter.

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

I am writing to express my support of granting humanitarian parole for Haitian children with identified adoptive parents who were in the process of adoption prior to the January 12 earthquake.

These children have paperwork proving their eligibility for adoption. They have identified adoptive parents with approved homestudies who have had extensive background checks. Humanitarian parole will not only allow these children to come to the US and stay with the families that love them during a time when Haiti is in extreme crisis, but it will also free up space in the orphanages for newly orphaned children.

Humanitarian parole has already been generously granted to many Haitian children in this situation; however, the process has slowed significantly, and many families now find themselves holding paperwork proving that they have adoptions in process, but unable to move forward with humanitarian parole. Children’s lives hang in the balance. Many of these children are at the US Embassy in Haiti, sleeping on the floor with their parents, as their parents advocate for their parole. Please do not let them down. Please advocate on their behalf.

Sincerely,

Corey C. Waters

Mother of 6, 5 of whom were adopted from Haiti

Raymond Joseph
Haitian Ambassador to US
embassy@haiti.org
p 202-332-4090
f 202-745-7215

Kenneth H Merten
US Ambassador to Haiti
Tabarre 41, Blvd 15 Octobre
Port-au-Prince, Haiti
Haiti-earthquake@state.gov
P 509 22 29 8000
F 509 22 29 8028

Hilary Clinton/Dept of State
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520

email form for Sec. Clinton
Main Switchboard:
202-647-4000